I finally had my consultation for the D&C/ablation with Dr. M. Of course, because I'm a 34 year-old woman with so many reproductive years ahead of me (cue big, fat eye roll), Dr. M tried to talk me out of the ablation. She said she only likes to use that as a last-ditch effort, because birth control of some kind must be taken from now until menopause. Okay. I don't see the problem. Birth control is free.
Really, I just think that doctors want to prevent younger women from eliminating the possibility of pregnancy all together. I relayed the information provided to me from Dr. K and told her I've had three months to think about this and come to terms with the consequences. And let's be real. I've been told it's unlikely I'm going to have kids right now, anyway. I also have zero romantic prospects. There is no guarantee I'm going to meet anyone and feel I know them well enough in the few reproductive years I have left. If I'm already in premature ovarian failure as Dr. K suspects, how good are my eggs, anyway?
At my age, you have to start worrying about the health and safety of any potential fetus. Don't get me wrong. My conscience won't let me put a possible child at risk for serious developmental issues just to sate a biological need to reproduce. If I do find someone who isn't scared off by the idea of not being able to have children of our own, then we can adopt.
During the consult, Dr. M brought up the idea that I might have endometriosis. Hold up. I thought my endometrial biopsy ruled that out. The tissue wasn't in great shape, but there were no indications of endometriosis present. Dr M did an exam of her own, which I wasn't mentally prepared for. She was checking the length of my uterine ligaments. Apparently, they're very short which can indicate endometriosis. But it can indicate nothing at all.
She wants me to come back next week after we have the results from my follow up ultrasound which is tomorrow. Joy of joys. And then, she wants to stick a camera in there so she can see what's actually going on. I mean...I'm having an ultrasound. Why can't you just do it all at once? As much as they're sticking things in my vagina, I should start charging them.
At the end of the day, I just have more questions than I did when I went in. And I really don't understand why they won't just let a woman make decisions about her body without second guessing her. I'm not one of those women who is going to regret this decision. A.) It's highly unlikely I'm going to have kids anyway, B.) I've been given enough time to think this through and come to terms with the fact that I won't be having babies of my own. C.) It will improve my quality of life. Why do I have to take a less effective option simply because someone my age still has a few reproductive years left?
I'm frustrated and angry, and I just want some real answers.
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