Adventures in juicing: Orange Sunburst

Hunger and I have been on odd terms lately.  Sometimes, I'm craving everything under the sun.  More often than not, however, I'm just not very hungry.  There is sharp pain in what I think are probably my intestines, though my insides are fairly unhappy with me in general these days. In any case, solid food just doesn't seem very appetizing, and eating becomes uncomfortable.  I'm pretty sure this is a result of the iron supplements I am taking.  But I need sustenance of some kind, so I'm getting around it by juicing.

I fell in love with the Day Glow juice from First Watch, and I decided I would try to make my own version.  I succeeded on the first try.  It was a little on the sweet side, but I added ice, and it cut the sweetness for me.

Libbie's Orange Sunburst:

4 oranges

7 carrots

1 thumb-sized piece of ginger

1 lemon

I'd gauge this makes about 10-12 oz of juice.  And it's so tasty!!!!!

Managing cravings...

I have been craving junk all day as well as yesterday.  I haven't been the best at clean eating, but I've been doing the best I can given that I had no choice but to eat at restaurants every weekend for five weeks.  Really, all that means is that I've been living on watermelon, pistachios, Trader Joe's dried apples, a thousand different blends of tea, and dried pineapple and homemade beef jerky (thank you, Christa and Ragnar!)  And I definitely had ice cream for dinner last night.  But it was Ben & Jerry's  Karamel Sutra, so at least it's quality ice cream.  That counts for something.  Right?  

Anyhoo, the cravings for junk and fast food have been strong the past couple of days, and I'm managing it by living on pistachios and Trader Joe's dried apple slices. And tea.  Lots and lots of tea.  Today's blend is Tulsi Moringa.  It's supposed to help relieve stress.  Right...

In any case, I'm armed with high fiber foods to combat cravings and teas for the headaches and irritable stomach (mint for tummy and raspberry leaf for the lady parts).  In any case, it's been helping me kick the soda craving.  I don't generally crave salty things.  I crave sweets.  Soda and ice cream are probably the biggest culprits.  And sweet tea.  I looooooovvvvvve sweet tea.  I also love Kinder chocolate.  When I found out that they put it in bar form and my favorite candy store carried it...Hoo boy.  Anyway.  You get the picture.  I have a sweet tooth.

Occasionally, when I have a craving, it's not even for something specific.  It's just a driving need to have something sweet.

This has me thinking about the science of cravings.  Why do we crave the foods we crave?  Why do we have general cravings?

Apparently, hormones play a huge role in hunger.  If you've been keeping up with my trials and tribulations, you understand why this made me laugh in way that made my eye twitch.  It makes me wonder if maybe the hormones Dr. K checked aren't the only ones out of whack.  My thyroid was fine, but that was literally the only thing that was functioning properly out of everything she checked. 

When I got my lab results from Dr. K, she mentioned that processed foods have been found to adversely affect your endocrine system.  She didn't get specific, but she suggested going to a clean diet, which I have been trying...and struggling with.  As I've been reading, I've learned that Grehlin is the hormone produced in the pancreas that drives our hunger.  It may even be linked to cravings, according to Dr. Ellen Hendrikson.  

We've all heard that processed sugar and foods like chocolate releases endorphins into the brain much like opioid drugs would.  But did you know that blocking those same opiate receptors will dampen cravings for such foods?  

So, great.  I'm quite literally chemically dependent on this crap that is possibly killing my endocrine system.  Brilliant.  How do I combat this?  Well, after wading through an obnoxious amount of articles that gave suggestions like, "visualize a different craving" or "take a nap", I came across a pretty decent article from Fitness Magazine's website.

The article backed up Dr. Hendrikson's statements about the link between junk food and chemical dependency, but it took it a step further, stating that women are programmed to put a higher value on food.  Why is that?  You guessed it.  Women are the baby factories!  Our prehistoric ancestors lived in times of feast and famine, and the foods that had a higher sugar or fat content would sustain them longer.  This is especially helpful when you're eating for two.  In other words, we as a species have survived millions of years by making women chemically dependent on chocolate.  Thanks a lot, guys.  Really.  Thanks so much.

The article goes on to say that giving in to the craving for sugary, salty, and fatty foods just makes the cravings worse.  Processed sugar hits your bloodstream much faster than regular sugars, so you get a sugar rush that gives you an immediate boost, but it can't sustain you.  Not only that, but if you give in to that desire for ice cream, you could spend the next three days craving it. The article then goes on to give examples of how to curb your cravings.   

I've included links for the articles, because they have good suggestions for managing cravings.  I was planning on listing out my favorites, but I'm exhausted, and I have a fierce migraine, so I'll leave it to you to explore on your own, my duckies.    

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/weight-loss/eating-help/control-cravings/how-to-control-cravings/

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/how-to-handle-food-cravings

http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2014/04/16/10-best-tips-managing-food-cravings/

http://www.webmd.boots.com/healthy-eating/features/control-food-craving

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-health/understanding-and-managing-food-cravings/

Dealing with stress and emotional backlash

Yesterday and this morning have been a struggl.  My stress level is through the roof.  It's not just the health of my lady bits; it's...everything.  It's having no idea why my body isn't producing the hormones it should be and no hope of having answers for five months at the very least.  It's being in perimenopause at 34.  It's having the decision to have kids taken out of my hands.  It's dealing with all of the innate programming that comes with being a woman that drives you to procreate that is now completely useless and makes me unreasonably sad when I see really cute babies.  It's not being able to be around people I care greatly for, because I'm not sure how I will react to their new baby.  It's the expense of treatment for the labs and procedures and costs of seeing specialists, because I have a ridiculous deductible and stupid high copays.  It's paying for that, paying off my new (to me) car, because no one plans on their body sabotaging them. It's keeping a roof over my head, and making sure the dogs and I have food.  

I really wanted to start saving to move out of this godforsaken state, but it looks like that will be impossible, because my living situation will be changing.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  I'm frustrated and angry, and I'm sad, because it feels like I can never be settled.  There is a certain amount of despair, because I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck in a place that I hate--a place that is killing my soul.  

Maybe if life would give me a moment to recover from one thing before kicking me in the balls with another, I'd be a little more emotionally stable.  As it is, I'm reeling.   

If I could just get enough sleep, maybe I would be more prepared to handle everything being thrown at me.  But it doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get, I just wake up exhausted.  I'm starting with literally zero energy.  I'm sluggish and slow, and I hate it.  Sometimes just getting out of bed is challenging.  And sometimes the depression digs it's claws in.  So often it's like my thoughts aren't even my own.  I have no control of them.  And I'm so ready to not feel like this anymore.  I'm worn so thin that I really just want to quit.  Today is one of the days I just want to give up.  I'm so tired, tired of being the strong one.  I'm tired of fighting everything all the time.  What's scary is that giving in is becoming a much more appealing option than it has ever been.  

I guess I'll start trying some of the stress relief techniques in some of the articles below.  I'd love to go to the gym, but starting with zero energy doesn't get me very far.  Maybe I'll try a short, gentle yoga routine.  I don't know.  I just know something has to change. 

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm

http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-relieving-stress

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/managing-stress.htm (With how many times this site encourages the user to "Think Positively", I kind of want to punch the content developer in the face.  With a brick.)

Well, at least it's not cancer...yet

Dr. K called on my way home from work last night.  The good news is that it isn't cancer...yet.  She said the levels (of whatever it is they're looking for) in my CA-125 were elevated, but not enough to be concerning right now, though we will have to keep monitoring it.

So, yay, no ovarian cancer, but I'm not entirely out of the woods.  My endometrial biopsy (uterine lining) came back with irregularities indicating that I have polyps, but there is no indication of cancer.  She is recommending a D&C, where they basically go in and scrape at my insides like one might the inside of a pumpkin.  Unfortunately, no one has suggested just scooping everything out.  I would honestly prefer that at this point.

I had dinner with a friend last night who has had a D&C, and she said once it was done, she felt so much better.  So, at least I have that to look forward to.  Because this being tired and nauseous all the time?  I'm. over. it.

Dr. K spoke previously of an endometrial ablation, which would greatly lower my chances of babies...assuming we ever get to the bottom of why I'm not producing baby making hormones at all.   I'm really okay with that.  If they can just eliminate any reason anyone would need to be in my lady parts from here on out, I'll be copacetic.

I am feeling better physically.  My stomach and uterus are still at odds with each other, which Dr. K said can happen.  Something about smooth muscle and everything being irritated and swollen and pressing against everything else.  I can't really remember.  We talked about several things that took precedence.  The bloating and pain is down by half, though, and I no longer look pregnant.  Now, I just have a little pudge.  I even lost half a pound!  Woo!

Uterine Polyps (Mayo Clinic)
Uterine Polyps (Women's Health Concern)
D&C (Mayo Clinic)
Endometrial Ablation (Web MD)